Volunteering after loss: Heather Cooke’s journey with MAID Family Support Society
For Heather Cooke, volunteering with MAID Family Support Society (MFSS) is more than just giving back—it’s an act of remembrance and love. “My son’s untimely death and choice to select Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) changed my life. My work with MFSS is in honour of his courage, strength, and legacy,” says Heather. This deeply personal connection to MAID fuels Heather’s passion for supporting families navigating end-of-life decisions. Her story is a testament to how personal loss can inspire meaningful change.
Providing grief support through compassionate listening
Heather volunteers as a peer supporter planning for or grieving a MAID death. One of her most meaningful experiences involved spending time with an elderly man grieving the loss of his daughter. “Our conversations were deeply meaningful. Just being there to listen can be incredibly healing,” she reflects. This kind of compassionate listening is at the heart of what MFSS volunteers offer: a safe space to share pain, reflect, and begin healing after a loved one’s assisted death.
Managing the emotional work of volunteering with MAID families
Volunteering in the MAID space comes with emotional weight. For Heather, the challenge is never knowing exactly how to be most helpful. But instead of trying to “fix” grief, she focuses on presence and empathy. “Being still and actively listening—without jumping in to offer advice—is how I support them,” she explains. To prepare emotionally before connecting with someone, Heather leans into self-care practices like yoga, tea, walks, and quiet reflection. These rituals help her stay present and respectful of others’ grief.
Ongoing learning
Heather emphasizes the value of continuous learning. She has found strength and knowledge through:
- MAID Family Support Society’s training materials and peer network
- Resources from Dying With Dignity Canada
- Grief and bereavement literature
- Death and dying courses from Durham College
These tools help her offer grounded, informed support while respecting professional boundaries. “You have to know your role as peer support and not overstep. Protect your emotional energy and understand your capacity,” Heather advises.
A changed perspective on end-of-life care
Heather’s personal journey through her son’s choice to use MAID has profoundly shifted her beliefs around death and dying. “My son taught us that death is a natural part of life. He helped us remove the fear and focus on the love that sustains us all. End-of-life care should always be rooted in compassion and empathy.” Through her volunteer work, Heather continues to advocate for dignified, loving end-of-life experiences and the importance of grief support after MAID.
Thinking about volunteering with MAID Family Support Society?
If you’re considering volunteering to support families after a MAID death, Heather encourages you to reflect on your emotional readiness and boundaries.
“Know yourself. Know your limits. And always centre the person you’re supporting, not your need to help.”
Whether you’re driven by the nature of your personal experience or a general desire to help others, volunteering with MAID Family Support Society can be a meaningful and transformative journey.
Are you interested in becoming a volunteer? Visit maidfamilysupport.ca/volunteer to learn how you can get involved.
