Supporting yourself and others through anticipatory grief: Understanding and managing grief before a loss occurs

What is anticipatory grief?

Grief is often thought of as something we experience after a loss, but many people begin grieving before a death occurs. This experience is known as anticipatory grief – a form of emotional pain and mourning that begins when a terminal diagnosis is given or when we sense the loss of a loved one on the horizon.

Whether you’re a family member, caregiver, or friend, anticipatory grief can feel overwhelming. It often brings a mix of emotions: sadness, anxiety, anger, guilt, and even moments of gratitude. Acknowledging and understanding these feelings is a vital step in supporting yourself and others through this difficult time.

Why anticipatory grief happens

Anticipatory grief can be triggered by:

• A terminal illness diagnosis
• Progressive decline due to aging or chronic illness
• A planned medical assistance in dying (MAID) procedure
• Loss of a person’s identity or capabilities, such as with dementia
• Preparing for the end of a life chapter, like when someone moves to long-term hospitalization or palliative care

This type of grief is unique because it combines the pain of impending loss with the challenge of continuing to care for and support a loved one.

Signs of anticipatory grief

Everyone experiences grief differently, but common signs of anticipatory grief include:

• Emotional fatigue and sadness
• Irritability or anger
• Difficulty concentrating
• Guilt for feeling ready for the loss
• Heightened anxiety or fear of the future
• Wanting to withdraw socially
• Waves of mourning even before the actual loss

Recognizing these symptoms early can help you seek support before they become overwhelming.

How to support yourself through anticipatory grief

Name your feelings
Simply acknowledging your emotions—grief, fear, even relief—is powerful. There is no “wrong” way to feel when navigating anticipatory grief.

Practice gentle self-care
Eat nourishing meals, get rest, spend time in nature, or engage in grounding rituals. Even short daily practices can provide emotional steadiness.

Seek support
Join a grief support group or speak with a therapist, spiritual advisor, or death doula. Spaces like MAID Family Support Society offer confidential, compassionate resources for families navigating grief before, during, and after a medically assisted death.

Create meaningful moments
Make memories while you can. Write letters, have difficult conversations, share stories, laugh, cry, or simply sit in silence together. These moments can bring peace, connection, and closure.

Plan ahead
When appropriate, talk openly about end-of-life wishes, ceremonies, and legacy. Planning can offer a sense of control and ensure your loved one’s values are honored.

Supporting others through anticipatory grief

Listen without fixing
Let others feel what they feel without judgment or advice. A simple “I’m here with you” can be more comforting than any solution.

Be present and consistent
Show up in small ways – text, call, cook a meal, or sit together. The ongoing presence of support is more valuable than the perfect words.

Respect their process
Everyone grieves differently. Avoid pushing someone to “stay strong” or “move on.” Let them experience their grief at their own pace.

Encourage connection
Gently suggest resources, spiritual supports, or peer support and other resources through maidfamilysupport.ca, where families can find connection, tools, and understanding.

Moving through anticipatory grief with compassion

Anticipatory grief reminds us that love and loss are intertwined. By supporting ourselves and others with care, we can move through this tender time with presence, grace, and resilience.

At MAID Family Support Society, we believe no one should navigate this journey alone. If you’re preparing for a loved one’s assisted death or grieving their loss after, we’re here to walk beside you with empathy, education, and community.

Looking for support?

Browse our site for compassionate resources, peer programs, and guidance tailored for families navigating MAID experiences.

 

Photo by The Good Funeral Guide on Unsplash