Grieving a loved one’s choice: Finding peace after a MAID loss
The loss of a loved one is always difficult, but when that loss comes through Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID), the grieving process can feel even more complex. Feelings of sadness, love, confusion, relief, and even guilt can surface, often accompanied by the weight of societal stigma or personal doubt. If you are navigating grief after a MAID loss, know that your emotions are valid and there are healthy ways to find peace without judgment.
Understanding the unique grief of a MAID loss
Grieving after a MAID loss is different from other types of loss. The intentionality behind your loved one’s choice may bring a mix of acceptance and heartache. Unlike sudden deaths, MAID allows for goodbyes, meaningful conversations and, in some cases, a sense of closure. However, it can also raise complicated emotions, including:
- Relief and guilt: Relief that their suffering has ended but guilt for feeling that relief
- Doubt and second-guessing: Wondering if something more could have been done to change their decision
- Isolation and stigma: Fear of sharing feelings openly due to differing personal or cultural beliefs about MAID
- Recognizing these emotions as normal is the first step toward healing.
Healthy ways to process grief without judgment
1. Allow yourself to feel everything
Suppressing grief can prolong the healing process. Allow yourself to experience every emotion—grief, love, anger, relief—without self-judgment. Journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or engaging in therapy can help process these feelings.
2. Seek support from those who understand
Not everyone will understand the complexities of a MAID loss, and that’s okay. Find support groups, either in person or online, where others share similar experiences. MAID Family Support offers a compassionate space to connect with others who have walked this path.
3. Honour their memory in a way that feels right
Creating a meaningful way to honor your loved one can bring comfort. Consider:
- Writing a letter expressing your feelings
- Planting a tree or dedicating a special space in their memory
- Celebrating their life with family and friends in a way that reflects their wishes
4. Educate yourself about MAID
Gaining a deeper understanding of why your loved one chose MAID can help with acceptance. Reading personal stories, medical explanations, and ethical discussions can provide context and perspective.
5. Set boundaries in conversations
Grief is personal and not everyone will share your views on MAID. It’s okay to set boundaries with those who are unsupportive or judgmental. Surround yourself with people who respect your experience.
6. Seek professional guidance
Grief counseling can be a powerful tool in navigating loss. Therapists specializing in bereavement can provide personalized coping strategies. If you’re struggling, consider reaching out to a professional who understands MAID-related grief.
Finding peace in their choice
Your loved one made their decision based on what was best for them. Finding peace doesn’t mean agreeing with every part of their choice—it means allowing yourself to heal without guilt or shame. Grief is a journey and there is no right or wrong way to process it.
If you need support, MAID Family Support is here to offer guidance, community, and resources to help you through this unique form of loss. You are not alone.
