Facing the holidays after loss: Strategies for emotional well-being

The holiday season is often described as a time of joy, family, and togetherness, but for those who are grieving, it can be one of the most difficult times of the year. Whether you’ve recently supported a loved one through Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID) or experienced another form of loss, the sights and sounds of the holidays can trigger powerful emotions.

Grief doesn’t pause for celebration. It’s okay to acknowledge that this season feels different, and it’s equally okay to find new ways to experience moments of peace, remembrance, and connection.

Understanding holiday grief

Grief during the holidays can be complex. The traditions, memories, and expectations that once brought joy may now evoke sadness or longing. For many people, the lead-up to the holidays — with its focus on family gatherings and festive advertising — can be even more painful than the day itself.

If your loss is connected to MAID, additional layers of emotion may surface. You may feel gratitude that your loved one had a peaceful death while also struggling with the finality of that choice. These mixed feelings are natural and part of the healing process.

1. Acknowledge your feelings

Give yourself permission to feel whatever arises – sadness, anger, guilt, or even moments of joy. There is no right way to grieve. Suppressing emotions can make them harder to process later, while gentle acknowledgment allows healing to begin.

Try journalling about what you miss most, what you’re grateful for, or what you wish your loved one could still experience. Naming your emotions helps bring them into the open where they can be met with compassion.

2. Set boundaries and manage expectations

You don’t have to attend every gathering or keep up every tradition. Let family and friends know what feels manageable and what doesn’t. It’s okay to say, “This year, I might need a quieter holiday,” or “I’ll join for dinner, but I may leave early.”

Be honest with yourself about your energy levels. Setting gentle limits can prevent overwhelm and give you space to grieve in your own way.

3. Create new traditions of remembrance

Honouring your loved one can bring comfort and meaning to the season. Consider small rituals such as:

• Lighting a candle in their memory each night
• Playing their favourite holiday song
• Cooking a dish they loved
• Donating to a cause that reflects their values
• Including their photo or a keepsake in your holiday décor

These gestures can help keep your loved one’s spirit present while allowing space for your grief and your gratitude to coexist.

4. Connect with supportive people

Isolation can intensify sadness, so try to reach out to those who understand. Whether it’s a close friend, a counsellor, or grief support, talking about your feelings helps lighten the emotional load.

If your loved one chose MAID, connecting with others who share that experience can be particularly healing. MAID Family Support Society offers peer support for individuals who have walked this unique path – a safe space to share stories, ask questions, and find understanding.

5. Practice self-compassion and rest

Grief takes both emotional and physical energy. Be kind to yourself by prioritizing rest, healthy meals, and moments of stillness. Try mindful breathing, gentle movement, or short walks outdoors. Even small acts of self-care, like drinking a warm cup of tea or watching a comforting movie, can make a difference.

Remember: healing isn’t about getting over your loss, but learning to live with it in a way that honours both your loved one and yourself.

6. Seek professional or peer support if needed

If you’re finding it hard to cope, professional grief counselling or peer support can help. You don’t have to face the holidays alone.

Finding light after loss

The holidays may never feel the same and that’s okay. Over time, grief can transform from something that feels heavy into something that reminds you of love, connection, and the courage it takes to remember.

If you’re facing the holidays after loss, be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to grieve, to celebrate, or to do both in your own way.

For resources, peer support, and compassionate connection, visit MAID Family Support Society to learn how we can help you navigate this season of remembrance and renewal.

 

Photo by Anita Austvika on Unsplash