Coping with seasonal changes and grief

As the leaves turn gold and the days grow shorter, something shifts – not just in nature, but in our hearts. For many people grieving the loss of someone or adjusting to major life changes, the fall and winter months bring heightened emotional challenges. In this post, we’ll explore why seasonal transitions can intensify grief and share practical strategies to help you navigate the colder, darker months with more compassion and resilience.

Why fall and winter can stir up grief

1. Nature reflects loss

Autumn’s falling leaves, muted colours, and bare branches visually mirror the sense of emptiness or departure that grief carries. Many grief counsellors observe that autumn has a symbolic resonance with endings, while winter can feel like a prolonged period of stillness or suspension.

2. Less light, more emotional weight

Shorter days and diminished sunlight can affect mood and energy. This reduced exposure to daylight is closely tied to Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which can worsen feelings of depression and make grief more burdensome.

3. Traditions, holidays, and memories

Fall and winter are full of celebrations and rituals, from Thanksgiving and Christmas to Diwali, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Lunar New Year, and many others. These can trigger powerful memories of the people we’ve lost or of a past version of life. The pressure to “be merry” can feel especially heavy when your inner landscape doesn’t match the external cues.

4. Isolation is more tempting

Cold weather and early darkness may encourage staying indoors, withdrawing from social interactions, or missing gatherings. While solitude can sometimes be healing, prolonged isolation can amplify grief, sadness, or loneliness.

5. Emotional “waves” and grief’s nonlinearity

Even if you’ve felt some peace or stability earlier, grief doesn’t progress in a straight line. Seasonal changes may bring fresh waves of emotion. You may revisit grief cycles, memories, or pain you thought had softened.

Strategies to care for yourself through the darker months

Below are practical approaches to help you carry your grief through fall and winter with intention and gentleness.

1. Acknowledge and accept what you feel

Let yourself feel sadness, longing, or loss without judgment or shame. Suppressing emotions can intensify distress. Naming your emotional state (for example, through journalling) can help you meet those feelings instead of resisting them.

2. Build a flexible self-care foundation

During these months, self-care becomes essential, not optional. Consider:

• Prioritizing sleep and rest
• Nourishing yourself with healthy meals
• Gentle movement: walking, yoga, stretching
• Getting outside during daylight hours, even briefly
• Trying light therapy (a light box) if you notice SAD-type symptoms

These practices don’t erase grief, but they support your emotional resilience.

3. Adjust traditions (or create new ones)

You don’t have to force yourself to continue every old ritual. You can:

• Modify existing traditions (e.g. make the gathering smaller, shift the tone)
• Introduce a new ritual to honour your loved one (lighting a candle, planting something in their memory, sharing stories)
• Allow yourself “opt-out” moments – decline events or leave early if needed

By being intentional, you can shape your holiday season in a way that feels tolerable (or even meaningful), rather than forced.

4. Set compassionate boundaries

Communicate your limits to friends or family. Let them know you may skip gatherings, need quiet times, or require understanding on particularly hard days. Giving yourself permission to say “no” is not selfish – it’s necessary.

5. Stay connected (in ways that feel safe)

Isolation increases emotional burden. Even if large gatherings feel too heavy, aim to maintain connection:

• Reach out to one person for a quiet visit or phone call
• Join a grief or support group (in-person or virtual)
• Engage in small social activities – coffee, museum visit, or low-key gathering

Shared grief can feel less isolating.

6. Use micro-rituals & anchors

Small, consistent rituals can ground you when emotions feel overwhelming:

• A short daily pause (light a candle, say your loved one’s name)
• Journalling three brief thoughts each evening
• Gratitude lists (however small)
• Taking photos of light or nature to remind yourself that beauty persists

These little acts become emotional anchors you can lean on.

7. Notice triggers & plan ahead

Anticipate dates, events, or patterns that may hit hard (birthday, anniversary, holiday). Prepare emotionally ahead of time:

• Mark the day in your calendar and set a coping plan
• Arrange for extra support or downtime
• Have an “exit strategy” or self-soothing plan when emotions surge

Preparation doesn’t eliminate pain, but it gives you tools to face it.

8. Seek professional support

If grief feels overwhelming, constant, or you notice changes in daily functioning (sleep, appetite, concentration), reaching out to a therapist or grief counsellor can make a difference. You don’t have to walk this path alone.

Moving through the months: tips by season

As summer turns into fall, begin to notice the small transitions around you. This is a natural time to reflect on change, both in the world and within yourself. A gentle journalling prompt like, “What am I fearing? What do I hope for?” can help you prepare emotionally for the season ahead.

In the heart of autumn, let yourself embrace nature’s beauty, even if it feels bittersweet. A quiet walk among fallen leaves or taking photos of the changing colours can serve as a reminder that endings and beginnings are intertwined.

When early winter and the holidays arrive, lean into the support of others. It can be helpful to adapt traditions instead of forcing yourself to recreate the past. Light a candle, share a memory, or design a new ritual that honours your loved one in a way that feels right for you.

By mid- to late winter, the focus often shifts to endurance. The days are short and energy may feel low. This is a time to prioritize small acts of self-care – stepping outside for daylight, practicing gentle movement, or setting aside moments of quiet reflection. If the heaviness feels overwhelming, consider checking in with a mental health professional for added support.

A gentle reminder: grief doesn’t have a schedule

You may find yourself thinking, “I thought I’d be over it by now.” But grief is not linear, nor is it bound by calendars. It ebbs and flows. One season may feel easier, only to bring fresh pain in another. That is normal.

Allow yourself the kindness to feel what you feel, to rest when you need, and to reach out when you’re tired.

Closing thoughts

Fall’s quiet decline and winter’s hush can stir up grief in ways we don’t always expect. The loss, memories, and emotional weight may feel more visible as shadows lengthen. Yet, within that season of grief lie opportunities: for remembrance, for honesty, and for gentle growth.

Let this be a season you survive with tenderness – one where you lean into support, protect your boundaries, and honour both the love you carry and the pain you bear. You don’t have to have all the answers. You only need to take one caring step at a time.

If you’ve lost a loved one to MAID and want help exploring grief support or feel it would help to talk with a peer who has been there too, MAID Family Support Society is here for you. You are not alone.

 

Photo by Johannes Plenio on Unsplash