Caring for yourself while supporting others through grief

Supporting someone who is grieving can be one of the most meaningful acts of compassion, but it can also be emotionally exhausting. Whether you’re a caregiver, close friend, or family member, you may find yourself carrying the weight of your loved one’s pain while putting your own needs aside. Over time this can lead to burnout, compassion fatigue, and even your own grief-related stress.

It’s important to remember that caring for yourself is not selfish. It’s essential. When you look after your own well-being, you’re better equipped to offer steady, genuine support to those who need you most.

In this article, we’ll explore practical self-care strategies for caregivers and family members supporting others through grief, along with tips for setting healthy boundaries and finding your own sources of comfort.

1. Acknowledge your own feelings

When you’re focused on someone else’s grief, it can be easy to ignore your own emotions. You might feel sadness, frustration, guilt, or even helplessness. These feelings are valid and deserve attention.

Try this:

• Set aside quiet time each day to check in with yourself.
• Write in a journal about your experiences and emotions.
• Talk openly with a trusted friend, therapist, or support group.

Recognizing your emotional state doesn’t diminish your compassion, it strengthens it.

2. Set healthy boundaries

Boundaries are not barriers; they are limits that help you sustain your energy and mental health. Without them, you may find yourself feeling overwhelmed or resentful.

Ways to set boundaries while still offering support:

• Let loved ones know when you’re available and when you need rest.
• Share caregiving responsibilities with other friends or family members.
• Be honest if you don’t have the capacity to attend every event or conversation.

Remember: saying “no” sometimes is a way of saying “yes” to your own well-being.

3. Maintain your physical health

Grief and caregiving can take a toll on the body as well as the mind. Your physical well-being directly affects your emotional resilience.

Self-care basics to prioritize:

• Sleep: Aim for 7 to 9 hours per night whenever possible.
• Nutrition: Eat balanced meals, even if your appetite is low.
• Movement: Incorporate gentle exercise like walking, yoga, or stretching to reduce stress.
• Hydration: Keep water nearby throughout the day.

Small, consistent habits will help you maintain the energy you need to show up for others.

4. Make time for joy and connection

When grief is present moments of joy may feel out of place, but they’re vital. Laughter, creativity, and connection are not signs of forgetting; they’re signs of healing.

Ideas to restore your spirit:

• Spend time in nature.
• Listen to uplifting music or podcasts.
• Engage in a hobby you enjoy.
• Connect with friends who bring comfort and positivity.

Giving yourself permission to feel happiness doesn’t mean you care any less.

5. Seek support for yourself

Caregivers and supportive friends often believe they must be strong at all times. But strength also comes from vulnerability – from admitting when you need help.

Where to find support:

• Peer-to-peer support groups.
• Professional counselling or therapy.
• Online communities dedicated to grief and caregiving.

If you are supporting someone impacted by medical assistance in dying (MAID), you may also find specialized resources through organizations like MAID Family Support Society.

6. Practice mindfulness and grounding

When emotions run high, grounding techniques can help you stay centered.

• Deep breathing exercises can lower stress.
• Mindful meditation can help you process emotions without judgment.
• Body scans can release physical tension caused by stress.

Even just two minutes of mindful breathing can create a sense of calm during challenging moments.

Final thoughts

Caring for yourself while supporting someone through grief is not an act of selfishness, it’s an act of sustainability. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and by protecting your own mental, emotional, and physical well-being, you ensure that your care for others remains steady and heartfelt.

If you or someone you know is supporting a loved one impacted by MAID and would like information or resources, visit the MAID Family Support Society Reading Room or reach out for peer support.