Mom was more than my best friend. She was my rock. My biggest cheerleader. My hero. She was also the healthiest member of our family, which is why I thought she’d live into her late nineties – just like her own mom was doing. But I was wrong. My mother’s life ended at age 72.

In April 2021, Mom suffered a hemorrhagic stroke, launching our family into a frantic battle to save her life. Six months into her rehabilitation, we were blindsided by the news that recovery was impossible. An underlying brain condition would eventually lead to a non-communicative, vegetative state. With this devastating prognosis, combined with daily bouts of debilitating pain, Mom made the courageous decision to pursue MAID.

I did not want Mom to die. It was decades too soon. And the sudden switch from helping her heal to supporting her MAID request was completely disorienting. We tried everything humanly possible to improve her quality of life. Nothing worked. I even begged her to reconsider, but it just wasn’t fair. I couldn’t ask her to endure a bleak existence because I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I knew I had to honour her wishes, but getting approved for MAID wasn’t that easy. The stroke had ravaged Mom’s brain circuitry, leaving her with unspeakable challenges, multiple assessments, and an alternative far worse than MAID.

“Sisu” is a Finnish term meaning guts, inner strength, grit, determination, and perseverance. It’s pushing yourself beyond all physical and psychological limits when facing insurmountable odds. Mom reached into the depths of her Finnish roots and showed us what “sisu” really meant. On her last chance to qualify, Mom won her fight for a dignified death. MAID was provided on February 7, 2022.

I was seven years sober when Mom died in my arms. Although I was beyond grateful to be present and at my strongest when she needed me the most, it was like having open-heart surgery without anesthetic. That pain left me with a decision to make. Relapse or rebuild. Knowing what was waiting if I relapsed, I channelled my grief into writing “SISU: How My Mother’s Fight For Her Death Changed the Course of My Life.”

For the full story, please visit my website.

My desire to volunteer for MFSS stems from my inability to find any grief counsellors with MAID experience. I also didn’t know anyone who’d accompanied a loved one through a MAID death. In hindsight, I really wish I’d known about MFSS because I would’ve benefitted from the peer support. I can’t go back in time, but now I get to be a peer support for anyone navigating a similarly bewildering path.